Forgiveness. A trip to Heaven. 2003

Forgiveness

I stood in Heaven. A familiar looking young man, with brown hair and eyes, who appeared to be about 14 years old, stood before me. He appeared excited to see me and was jumpy like a child who was about to open his presents at Christmas.

He spoke to me, “My name is Timmy! Please tell my mother, my brother and sisters that I can hardly wait till were all together in heaven”.

I realized as he said this that I knew his mother, brother, and sisters, well. I knew his mother had an abortion when she was young and this was the aborted boy. I felt so privileged at that moment and just wanted to cry. He had no bitterness in him only love for his family. I knew that God had answered his prayer to be able to share this message with his mother. Timmy was a special boy who I immediately loved. He had a presence of a playful loving boy.

I began to cry at this point. The level of forgiveness in this boy was beyond anything I had ever seen before. He didn’t ask me why his mother ended his life and didn't give him a chance to survive. There was not an ounce of bitterness in him. I felt such incredible love in Timmy and I also felt such love for him. Here was a boy whose life was not taken by a stranger but his own parents and yet he still chose to forgive them. This was at a level that was difficult for me to comprehend. I know people who get bitter and angry because the neighbor parks their car in front of their house. They call the police because a dog craps on their lawn. They want to kill someone because they cut them off on the highway. Then there’s this young man, who was murdered by his own parents hand and only wanted to be with them one day, in heaven.

I went the next day to his mother about my meeting with Timmy. Her response was just tears.

Walking on the narrow road is being a place of constant repentance and humility before the Lord. Every day you must wash yourself clean. You can’t hold a single thing against any man no matter what they’ve done to you. You cannot even walk in the kingdom if you hold unforgiveness towards anyone.

It’s really the story of Cain and Abel all over again. It’s about two personalities, a forgiving one and an unforgiving one. My whole life I have come across this over and over again. The forgiving types are free and easy and let things roll off their back. They are what I call the pure hearted ones. They choose to forgive no matter what happens to them. The Lord delights in these. They are the ones that will be in the throne room, they are the ones that will clearly be in heaven.

And then we have the unforgiving ones. When they choose to not forgive they are coming against the very essence of who Jesus is and the gift He brought us. He said He could not forgive us if we could not forgive our brother. If we do not have His forgiveness, then we cannot enter in, it is not our place.

When I was young the Lord came to me in my room and said, “I want you to forgive your parents for what they did to you”.

I was stunned when He said this because I saw that they did nothing wrong. I could not think of anything in my mind. I knew the Lord could not lie so I knew something must be there. I acted in faith and said the words.

“I forgive my parents for what they did to me.”

Even so, I could not think of anything. My words were just mere words and hardly heartfelt. Immediately after reciting the prayer it was as if a door opened and I saw far into my past. I saw the rejection and how they treated me. I cried when I saw it and now the forgiveness seemed real. I acted in faith first and then God met me.

MT 18:23 "Therefore, the kingdom of heaven is like a king who wanted to settle accounts with his servants. 24 As he began the settlement, a man who owed him ten thousand talents was brought to him. 25 Since he was not able to pay, the master ordered that he and his wife and his children and all that he had be sold to repay the debt.

MT 18:26 "The servant fell on his knees before him. ‘Be patient with me,’ he begged, ‘and I will pay back everything.’ 27 The servant's master took pity on him, canceled the debt and let him go.

MT 18:28 "But when that servant went out, he found one of his fellow servants who owed him a hundred denarii. He grabbed him and began to choke him. ‘Pay back what you owe me!’ he demanded.

MT 18:29 "His fellow servant fell to his knees and begged him, ‘Be patient with me, and I will pay you back.’

MT 18:30 "But he refused. Instead, he went off and had the man thrown into prison until he could pay the debt. 31 When the other servants saw what had happened, they were greatly distressed and went and told their master everything that had happened.

MT 18:32 "Then the master called the servant in. ‘You wicked servant,’ he said, ‘I canceled all that debt of yours because you begged me to. 33 Shouldn't you have had mercy on your fellow servant just as I had on you?’ 34 In anger his master turned him over to the jailers to be tortured, until he should pay back all he owed.

MT 18:35 "This is how my heavenly Father will treat each of you unless you forgive your brother from your heart."

MEETING the HOLY TRINITY from my book "His Grace"

Meeting the Trinity
I saw myself on the ground, looking up to heaven in a dark field, calling out to God. Instead of words, all that came out was a great moaning. I looked up and saw a cloud in the sky that somehow appeared flat with a hedge around it. Over the top, I could see Jesus and the Father walking side by side. I could only see them from the shoulders up since the hedge blocked my view. They were talking and I could see God’s head tilted slightly, listening to my moaning, from down below. They just walked back and forth while I sent out these great moans. The scene was dark and scary looking but it did not stop my constant moaning. Suddenly they stopped. I heard a shout from God, “Come up”! And, I did!

Suddenly I was standing in heaven in His presence. I looked the Father up and down. His hair was snow-white but I could not see His face. A glory cloud moved over His face hiding it from me. The details of His white robe were difficult to see, since His glory was so blinding. He radiated light from every pore.
To His left was Jesus, who resembled the Father but a foot shorter. He had a smaller stature and not as broad across the shoulders. I looked into His dove like eyes.
They were full of compassion and He knew the great struggle I was going through. Just one look made it seem like everything was going to be all right. He radiated with such indescribable glory.
To the left of Jesus, was the Holy Spirit. He also had the eyes of Jesus, the exact likeness! He had no form but also had a movable form. When I looked at Him, I knew there were no words to describe Him. I knew Him as the comforter and I felt such incredible love pouring out from Him. He looked at me as Jesus did and His eyes sent out “I love you”. My eyes scanned back to the Father, and I looked at Him. The moment was overwhelming me.

I instantly understood the intertwined connection of the trinity and knew why they were impossible to describe. No earthly words or models could help man understand this, but at that moment, I knew what no man has ever known.
God held out his arms to me and motioned for me to come to Him. When I looked down at myself, I appeared about two and half years old. I ran full force and jumped into Daddy’s arms. Never had I felt such love. I could spend all of eternity here. To heck with looking around heaven this is all I want! Just to lie in Daddy’s arms for the rest of eternity!
I cried to the Father “Please, Daddy, please don’t make me go back”. Daddy squeezed me harder. I felt I would explode. This was love beyond all earthly measure.

I looked at Jesus thinking that He might be jealous but when I saw His eyes, He shared in the moment just as much as me. Jesus longed for this meeting between Daddy and me. I turned again to Daddy, fell back into Him and closed my eyes in His embrace. I kept repeating over and over again, “Please, Daddy, don’t make me go back”.
Then next thing, I was waking up in bed and immediately started weeping. The Holy Spirit was still here. It was just as if I were still in God’s presence. The anointing stayed with me all- day.

As a year or so went by, I began to realize that my love was growing and it was becoming difficult to function normally. I would sometimes just lie in bed for days unable to do normal housework or any work for that matter. He poured His love on me daily. At one point, I had to ask Him to stop just so I could get something done. I could not believe what I was asking Him.
He began to speak to me and this is what He said. “I showed you My form and you being a mere man could not contain it. After seeing Me, it caused you to pull away from this world and to seek Me even more. That is why I cannot show you My face or you would not be able to live here any longer. The beauty of My face would cause you to be unable to function at all on earth and I would have to call you home”.

It really is all about me! Are you a narcissist ? Take the test!

It is rare for a narcissistic individual to be diagnosed with Narcissistic Personality Disorder because those who really should be don't seek help and so don't get clinically assessed; it is usually members of their family or work colleagues who seek help to cope with them.

Here are a few pointers that may help you identify one:
Their lack of empathy colors everything they do. They may say, "How are you?" when you meet, but they are working from memory. They are not interested in how you are.
Virtually all of their ideas or ways of behaving in a given situation are taken from others, people they know and perhaps think of as an authority (mirroring).
Their sense of self-importance and lack of empathy means that they will often interrupt the conversations of others.
They expect others to do the day-to-day chores as they feel too important to waste their time on common things.
Listen for the constant use of "I", "me" and "my" when they talk.
They very rarely talk about their inner life, for example their memories and dreams.
They feel that the rules at work don't apply to them.
They will always cheat whenever they think they can get away with it.
If you share workload with them expect to do the lion's share yourself.
They love to delegate work or projects, then interfere by micro-managing it. If it goes well, they take the credit, if it goes badly they blame the person they delegated it to.
There tends to be higher levels of stress with people who work with or interact with a narcissist, which in turn increases absenteeism and staff turnover.
They get impatient and restless when the topic of discussion is about someone else, and not about them.
Another frustrating aspect of the narcissist's behavior is how he (or she) will cause an argument just to protect himself from a perceived ego threat. Behind the Narcissist's Mask is an extract from the book Narcissism: Behind the MaskRef. It is an argument between a typical narcissist and his wife. The narcissist had forgotten to pick up milk from the shop whilst his wife was at work, as agreed that morning between the two of them. It then goes on to explain the real meaning behind what the narcissist says. The behavior of the narcissist is typical of how a narcissist will create and distort an argument solely to protect his self-esteem. Click here to read the argument.

There are many other behavioral characteristics exhibited by the narcissist. A good account of them is given by Joanna Ashmun. Or you can do a free online test for narcissism.

One way to recognize a narcissist is to trust in your own intuition. As Sam Vaknin put it, "One feels ill at ease in the presence of a narcissist for no apparent reason. No matter how charming, intelligent, thought provoking, outgoing, easy going and social the narcissist is – he fails to secure the sympathy of others, a sympathy he is never ready, willing, or able to reciprocate."
Hotchkiss identified what she called the seven deadly sins of narcissism:[22]
Shamelessness: Shame is the feeling that lurks beneath all unhealthy narcissism, and the inability to process shame in healthy ways.
Magical thinking: Narcissists see themselves as perfect using distortion and illusion known as magical thinking. They also use projection to dump shame onto others.
Arrogance: A narcissist who is feeling deflated may reinflate by diminishing, debasing, or degrading somebody else.
Envy: A narcissist may secure a sense of superiority in the face of another person's ability by using contempt to minimize the other person.
Entitlement: Narcissists hold unreasonable expectations of particularly favorable treatment and automatic compliance because they consider themselves special. Failure to comply is considered an attack on their superiority, and the perpetrator is considered an "awkward" or "difficult" person. Defiance of their will is a narcissistic injury that can trigger narcissistic rage.
Exploitation: Can take many forms but always involves the exploitation of others without regard for their feelings or interests. Often the other is in a subservient position where resistance would be difficult or even impossible. Sometimes the subservience is not so much real as assumed.
Bad boundaries: Narcissists do not recognize that they have boundaries and that others are separate and are not extensions of themselves. Others either exist to meet their needs or may as well not exist at all. Those who provide narcissistic supply to the narcissist are treated as if they are part of the narcissist and are expected to live up to those expectations. In the mind of a narcissist there is no boundary between self and other.
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Sodom & Gomorrah Cruise lines Dream

Dream: March 12, 2005
-EJ Ouellette

I dreamt I was on the ocean on some kind of cruise ship. I was positioned near the front and was looking backwards over the whole boat. Everywhere I looked people were partying and we're completely obnoxious. I looked in my hand and I was holding a martini with an olive still in the class. It reminded me of the Titanic and everyone seemed obnoxiously wealthy. It was then I noticed that we were going extremely fast. My hair was blowing forward and was wrapped around in my face. I was sickened by the people I saw and couldn't understand what I was doing there on that ship. The scene I was looking at was one of extreme opulence. I did not know where I was going and it made me a little nervous. As I turned around to face forward I noticed we were going full speed and about to hit the huge dock and then the shore. I had no time to respond! We were going to crash and we crashed at full speed. The boards from the dock easily split apart and flew high into the air. The dock disintegrated in a couple of seconds and now our huge ship was plowing deep into the earth. My body and the bodies of all the people that were around me were now projectiles headed towards death.

It's now June 2011 and when I looked back upon this old dream it really reminded me of right now. The crash of the stock market took place in 2008 but I don't believe that was the final crash. On the other hand as I look around me at people I know they are exactly like the people on the ship. One acquaintance of mine was exactly like the guy who stood in front of me on the ship. He spends hundreds of dollars a month on booze and drugs. He is 46 years old and he has never worked a day in his life. His parents give them all the money he needs to get drunk and stoned every day. All of his friends are pretty much the same way. Every time I look at them I remember this dream and that everything in their life is about to come crashing down. Almost everywhere I go everyone carries on like nothing is wrong and yet the whole economy is sliding down a long slippery slope into a burning volcano. They are just like the people on the ship, not a care in the world just having fun and parting is all they care about. It also reminds me of the church today. New age gospels mixed with prosperity heresy dominate the landscape. I feel like I live in Sodom and Gomorrah everyday. This world is certainly ripe for God's judgments.

Constantinople word. The coming destruction to the USA.

Over the last six months in my prayer time I kept receiving the singular word "Constantinople". I'm not much of a history buff or a geography buff, nor am I a biblical scholar. I looked it up in my dictionary and all that it told me was that it was the former name of Istanbul in Turkey. Again in prayer time the word came to me and I decided to do a little more research on it figuring God was trying to tell me something. There was a lot of information on this ancient city. Something that stood out from all the rest of the information was that it was once a Christian city. This city was completely destroyed and plundered. As I read about the destruction I realized this paralleled all the prophetic dreams and words I was getting for the USA. Secondly the ancient city was on a major fault line and earthquakes in the past have killed thousands of people. I'm not sure which of these two things God was trying to tell me. Read what I copied from Wikipedia and decide for yourself. My feeling is that it's all about the destruction of the USA.

-EJ Ouellette

Constantinople |?kän?stantn??p?l|

the former name of Istanbul from ad 330 (when it was given its name by Constantine the Great) until the capture of the city by the Turks in 1453.

The Muslims are by far the largest religious group in Istanbul. Among them, the Sunnis form the most populous sect, while a number of the local Muslims are Alevis. In 2007 there were 2,944 active mosques in Istanbul.

Istanbul is situated near the North Anatolian Fault on the boundary between the African and Eurasian plates. This fault zone, which runs from northern Anatolia to the Sea of Marmara, has been responsible for several deadly earthquakes throughout the city's history. Among the most devastating of these seismic events was the 1509 earthquake, which caused a tsunami that broke over the walls of the city, destroyed over 100 mosques, and killed more than 10,000 people. More recently, in 1999, an earthquake with its epicenter in nearby ?zmit left 17,000 people dead, including 1,000 people in Istanbul's suburbs. Istanbulites remain concerned that an even more catastrophic seismic event may be in Istanbul's near future, as thousands of structures recently built to accommodate the city's rapidly increasing population may not have been constructed properly.[66] Seismologists say the risk of a 7.6-magnitude earthquake striking Istanbul by 2030 is greater than sixty percent.

“For nine centuries,” he goes on, “the great city had been the capital of Christian civilization. It was filled with works of art that had survived from ancient Greece and with the masterpieces of its own exquisite craftsmen. The Venetians, wherever they could, seized treasures and carried them off. But the Frenchmen and Flemings were filled with a lust for destruction: They rushed in a howling mob down the streets and through the houses, snatching up everything that glittered and destroying whatever they could not carry, pausing only to murder or to rape, or to break open the wine-cellars. Neither monasteries nor churches nor libraries were spared. In St Sophia itself, drunken soldiers could be seen tearing down the silken hangings and pulling the silver iconostasis to pieces, while sacred books and icons were trampled under foot. While they drank from the altar-vessels, a prostitute sang a ribald French song on the Patriarch’s throne. Nuns were ravished in their convents. Palaces and hovels alike were wrecked. Wounded women and children lay dying in the streets. For three days the ghastly scenes continued until the huge and beautiful city was a shambles. Even after order was restored, citizens were tortured to make them reveal where the treasures were hidden.

The Old Women

I was outside the church door sitting at a picnic table with friends. We were laughing and joking. I felt close to them and felt free. I could hear in the distance thunder but I just ignored it since it seemed far away. Suddenly a thunderbolt cracked close by. We jumped up and someone suggested we go into the church to be safe. I turned the chrome handle of the brown steel doors and walked inside. An old woman in a wheelchair sat before me. She was dressed in an old Victorian dress with a high collar, something like the Queen of England would have worn in the 1600s. It was black, like something one would wear at a funeral. Her eyes were black and vacant. The hair started to stand up on the back of my neck. I knew she was dead and somehow she could still move her limbs. Everything in me wanted to run as fast as I could out that door. She had several people standing around her in a circle. Men, in finely dressed suits attended her. Some were on their knees worshipping her. Proud and arrogant men served her and placed things she asked for in her hands. These men are the elite people that service this dead woman. I became sick to my stomach, realizing this was a demon of great power, which had occupied a dead body and was pretending to be real.

It was clear in this dream that this woman was the false church. The church today is nothing but an empty shell of what Jesus had built in the beginning.

A great delusion had fallen on God’s people and they seemed worse than the non-Christians. I began to pray and ask God about the false church. Little by little, He revealed more and more to me. I was on a quest to discover the truth. Although He gave me so much information, it could fill another book. He also gave me a nutshell version that was easy to understand.

The true church is only ever a people. It is never a building, an institution, a denomination or even a doctrine. All of those other things were the false church.

It was then that God began to unfold my understanding of the story of the prodigal son. I had always thought that the story was about a singular individual but never once did I look at it in this light until God brought my attention. When God spoke to me He even gave it a new title and called it "My two sons".

As the story goes there was this wealthy farmer who had two sons. Both sons at one time had been working in the fields. One of the sons decided he had enough of this life and wanted to experience the world. He asked his father for his inheritance now instead of waiting. It was then I saw this was the prosperity church. It was the prodigal son that didn’t want to wait until he got to heaven to receive his inheritance but wanted it now, here on earth instead. They no longer did the work of the gospel anymore but instead lusted after the things of the world and cried out to God for even more. He granted their request and gave them what they wanted. The Father also knew they would never be satisfied with the things of the world and eventually it would all come to nothing. He knew the money would run out (economic collapse) and the prodigal church would come running back.

It all made perfect sense now. Even the second son who stayed behind and did the work made sense. The true church stayed behind and fed the homeless, provided for the widows and the orphans and brought many into the kingdom. This is the church that will one day be jealous that God welcomed back the prosperity church after their great falling away. When all the money runs out and they lose all of their things, are starving and dining with the pigs, the father will welcome them, but the jealous son may not.

2TI 3:1 But mark this: There will be terrible times in the last days. 2 People will be lovers of themselves, lovers of money, boastful, proud, abusive, disobedient to their parents, ungrateful, unholy, 3 without love, unforgiving, slanderous, without self-control, brutal, not lovers of the good, 4 treacherous, rash, conceited, lovers of pleasure rather than lovers of God-- 5 having a form of godliness but denying its power. Have nothing to do with them.

 

1TI 4:1 The Spirit clearly says that in later times some will abandon the faith and follow deceiving spirits and things taught by demons.

Steps to a Jewish Orthodox Marriage

Steps to a Jewish Orthodox Marriage

1. The Father picks the bride for his son.
2. He then goes to the girls father and invites her over.
3. The son and the girl drink a glass of wine together and then become legally married.
4. After that they are removed from each other to spend a season apart whose length does the Father determine and only he knows the time. (It could be a year or a month)
5. During this time the son begins to prepare a home for this girl.
6. The girl begins to separate emotionally from her parents and begins to surrender in her heart to her husband.
7. They are legally married at this point even though they have not consummated it. (They can only be separated by divorce)
8. The Father then sends a trusted friend of the groom to tell the girl that the time is up and she can return to the son.
9. The son plays a game where he goes and secretly takes her from her parents and they run together and come to the reception.
10. They drink a toast with the guests and then leave and consummate the marriage. (Make whoopee)
11. The guest of the wedding begin a feast including drinking wine and don’t end it until the bride and groom arrive.
12. The bride and groom come back to the guests and now they are fully married and the party ends. This could last over a week!


Notice the similarities to the four Gospels.

1. Jesus had a communion including drinking a glass of wine with his disciples right before his departure.
2. He said that he was going to prepare a place for us.
3. He said his return he did not know that only the Father new the time.
4. The bride groom is supposed to announce the return of Jesus
5. Indeed the true bride will be stolen from the traditional church.
6. The marriage supper of the Lamb

REV 19:7 Let us rejoice and be glad
and give him glory!
For the wedding of the Lamb has come,
and his bride has made herself ready.

REV 19:8 Fine linen, bright and clean,
was given her to wear."

(Fine linen stands for the righteous acts of the saints.)

REV 19:9 Then the angel said to me, "Write: `Blessed are those who are invited to the wedding supper of the Lamb!' " And he added, "These are the true words of God."
7.
REV 21:1 Then I saw a new heaven and a new earth, for the first heaven and the first earth had passed away, and there was no longer any sea. 2 I saw the Holy City, the new Jerusalem, coming down out of heaven from God, prepared as a bride beautifully dressed for her husband. 3 And I heard a loud voice from the throne saying, "Now the dwelling of God is with men, and he will live with them. They will be his people, and God himself will be with them and be their God. 4 He will wipe every tear from their eyes. There will be no more death or mourning or crying or pain, for the old order of things has passed away."