LEAVING IT ALL BEHIND from my book "His Grace"

LEAVING IT ALL BEHIND

The streets were bare and dirty. The sun shone down like a hot brand. It looked more like a ghost town from some bad western. Wooden buildings lined the streets and were so close that there was no way out. A single set of railway tracks entered from one end of town and went off into the other. I heard a noise in the distance and something moving caught my eye. A streetcar or a train was approaching. As it drew closer I could see people inside and a driver at the window. It pulled up alongside me and the door popped open. Without thinking I just got on. The driver looked like death. I turned toward the rear. Only a handful of people were on board and I looked for a seat. I felt uneasy like I was sure I had just done something wrong. I looked back at the others behind me. They looked like zombies. Their eyes were sunken and dark. There was no joy in them. Their pale faces looked lifeless. My heart pounded as I looked out the window at the street below thinking I might jump out the window. Before I realized it, I had run to the front. I looked out the front window and saw the tracks ended just ahead and they went straight down into a void. “Let me off!” I cried to the driver. He hit the brakes without hesitation and opened the door. From behind me I heard someone say. “I didn’t know you could get off ”.

I found myself running through the dusty street looking for a way out but I couldn’t find any. Each building blocked my way as I ran from side to side. I decided to go through a building and ran and opened an unfriendly looking door.

The room was dark and it took time for my eyes to adjust to the sudden darkness. There was no rear door out and I decided to go back out the way I came. I turned, and I noticed that the door that I came in through no longer existed. It had somehow disappeared. I frantically scanned the room with my eyes hoping I had somehow made a mistake. I began to weep. Across the room in a darkened corner sat someone I knew. He was very casually dressed and seemed content with sitting there. I ran over and said to him, “How do you get out”? “You can’t”, he replied. I began to sob. He said, “It’s not that bad. We could fix it up a little.” He took out some roll of gold foil and got up on some old rickety chair. He motioned for me to help him so I got up on another chair. I just kept weeping. He seemed happy enough that he was here but I was definitely not. I stood on the chair and grabbed the foil to spread across the window. I looked out the window into the street and noticed it was not the same street I came in on. There were wonderfully dressed people everywhere. Beautiful white dresses adorned every woman. Men wore expensive well fitting suits. It looked more like an antique wedding party. Everyone was smiling and happy. No one was sad.

The streets seemed bright as the sun and it was difficult to make out the imagery. It reminded me of the vision I had when I was young. I noticed he was putting the foil the wrong way. The shiny nice side was out to the crowd instead of inside. I spoke to him “You have the wrong side out”. “No”, was his only reply.

My heart felt like it was breaking. I dropped the foil and fell to the floor and started sobbing. I was in outer darkness! I had missed the throne room. I had been disobedient. I was going to have to spend all of eternity in outer darkness. I looked out the window and saw into their faces. Their happiness was what I always desired and hoped for but now I would only ever see it from a distance, out of the Lord’s favor. My heart ached for what I saw but could not touch it.

I gathered my thoughts and slowly got up. My friend stood perplexed looking at me. What’s the big deal was written on his face. He was a nominal Christian. He had some kind of life changing experience at some point in his life and then just went back into the system without ever really changing. He was basically, most people I know.

I decided to march around this room for the rest of eternity worshipping God. Not for any reason of favor but just for my own sanity’s sake. When I sang, the most horrible worship I had ever heard came from my sorry lips. I was shocked. None- the-less I kept singing anyway.

Even old worship tunes from years gone by fell from my mouth. I kept marching around, ignoring my friend sitting in his old chair. Round and round I went singing, if that what you call it. The presence of the Lord was non-existent in this place.

As I turned again toward the window I noticed a faint outline of a door in the darkness. I thought how I could have missed this before. My heart leaped. I reached for the handle groping in the dark. I grabbed something that felt like cold steel. I pulled hard and the door began to pull open to the heavenly courtyard. The brightness of the light pierced my eyes and I squinted hard. Suddenly I was in slow motion and I began to sing a new song. It was as beautiful as any opera singer would sing. I began to leap like a gazelle bounding over to the slow moving happy people. The song I was singing was one I had never heard before. It was the ‘Song of Solomon’.

‘Have you seen my lover? I called, Have you seen my lover?

I went into the city streets; calling to everyone I could meet. Have you seen my lover? I called, Have you seen my lover?

I went into the city square, calling to all the people there. Have you seen my lover? I asked, have you seen my lover?

Tears of joy fell from my face. I had made it! I made it into the kingdom. I felt such love in that place, indescribable love.

John Knox finds a wife. I guess there's no more of these around?

"I have never once feared the devil, but I tremble every time I enter the pulpit."

” Mr. John Campbell, minister at Crairie,”‘ says Mr. Millar, ‘”told me this story of Mr. Knox’s marriage, so far as I mind it. John Knox, before the light of the Reformation broke up, travelled among several honest families in the west of Scotland who were converts to the protestant religion ; particularly he visited oft Stewart, Lord Ochiltree’s family, preaching the gospel privately to those who were willing to receive it. The lady and some of the family were converts ; her ladyship had a chamber, table, stool, and candlestick, for the prophet, and one night about supper, says to him, ‘ Mr. Knox, I think you are at a loss by want of a wife ;’ to which he said, ‘ Madam. I think nobody will take such a wanderer as I ;’ to which she replied, ‘ Sir, if that be your objection, I’ll make inquiry to find an answer ‘gainst our next meeting.’ The lady accordingly’ addressed herself to her eldest daughter, telling her she might be very happy if she could marry Mr. Knox, who would be a great reformer and a credit to the church ; but she despised the proposal, hoping her ladyship wished her better than to marry a poor wanderer. The lady addressed herself to her second daughter, who answered as the eldest. Then the lady spoke to her third daughter, about nineteen years of age, who very’ frankly said. ‘ Madam, I’1l be very willing to marry him, but I fear he will not take me;’ to which the lady replied, ‘If that be all your objection, I’ll soon get you an answer.’ Next night, at supper, the lady said to Mr. Knox, ‘Sir, I have been considering upon a wife to you, and find one very willing.’ To which Knox said, ‘ Who is it, madam and She answered, ‘ My young daughter sitting by you at table.’ Then, addressing himself to the young lady, he said, “My bird, are you willing to marry me” and She answered, ‘Yes, sir, only I fear you ’11 not be willing to take me.’ He said, “My bird, if you be willing to take me, you must take your venture of God’s providence, as I do. I go through the country sometimes on my foot, with a wallet on my arm, a shirt, a clean band, and a bible in it ; you may put some things in it for yourself and if I bid you take the wallet, you must do it, and go where I go, and lodge where I lodge.’ — ‘ Sir,’ .says .she, ‘I’ll do all this.’ — Will you be as good as your word?’ — ‘Yes, I will.’ Upon which, the marriage was concluded, and she lived happily with him, and had several children by him. She went with him to Geneva, and as he was ascending a hill, as there are many near that area, she got up to the top of it before him, and took the wallet on her arm, and, sat down, said, ‘ Now-. good man, am not I as good as my word?’ She afterward lived with him when he was minister at Edinburgh. I am told,” added Mr. Millar, ” that one of that Lady Ochiltree’s daughters, a sister of John Knox’s wife, was married Thomas Millar, of Temple, one” of my predecessors.” — Letters to Wodrow, vol xix., No. 197

If you are not being persecuted then you are doing something wrong!

I once said that if you are not being persecuted then you are doing something wrong. If you are not being chased or pursued by the enemy I would question what you really are doing. You’re obviously no threat to Satan.

I was speaking at a church in Lexington Virginia and afterwards was driving north on Highway 81 to go back to Canada. I had my young daughter with me and we were eating some food in the car while driving. Suddenly I felt like something was wrong. I’ve spoken at this church many times and afterwards an attack usually takes place from the enemy. He really hates it when God uses me to set people free. On that occasion I spoke about the enemy and had a time of deliverance after. This of course should have invoked some kind of attack from the enemy. I began to question what I had done and if I’d followed God’s will. I started to repent thinking maybe I had sinned. It scared me to think that I came all the way from Canada to preach this message and I did it in the flesh and not in the spirit.

Just as I was repenting of that, a truck in the opposite lanes hit another car and began to topple end over end landing perfectly in my lane upside down. I was driving with my knee on the wheel because I was eating a burger at the time. I managed to stop the car without hitting the truck. A loud screaming was coming from the totaled truck. A man popped out from the truck while still holding his coffee in his hand. Somehow he had managed to fly end over end and across the median landing upside down on the road without letting go of his coffee. Of course I doubt there was any liquid inside, as it appeared to be all over his body. The loud screaming came from his wife who was hanging upside down by her seatbelt in her vehicle. She was obviously not amused at her husband for crashing their truck.

I felt such incredible peace. My daughter who was only five at the time looked over at me and said “What are you waiting for daddy?” I looked at her in amazement. She had the same perfect peace I did. I managed to maneuver my car around the truck and continued back to Canada. I felt satisfied at that moment knowing that the enemy tried to kill me and that I was still a threat to him.

VISION OF THE SWIMMING POOL by Deborah Rennier 3-7-07

3-7-07: The Lord gave me this vision while I was in New Orleans ministering at the Mardi Gras. By Deborah Rennier

Before me I saw a very high diving platform sitting in an immense body of water. I saw a large horde of people pushing and jostling to get to the top of the platform. they struggled mightily to get to the end of the diving board. When they reached the end of the board they stopped and it became obvious that they did not want to jump.

I then saw below them, in the water many large animals. They had the general appearance of alligators. They were swimming about with their mouths gaped open. It seemed that they intended to devour the would-be divers.

As the creatures intent became clear, no one wanted to dive off of the board. Then I heard the beasts speaking.

"Come and enjoy the pleasures of life. Be rich and in need of nothing. God didn't really say you would suffer for His names sake, did He? We say He didn't. We believe He wants you to prosper and be wealthy."

Then one beast began to speak as all others went silent.

" Build bigger buildings where I am welcome. Keep teaching false doctrines. Keep pleasing people, when you please people, you please me. You can live forever with me. I offer eternity with me."

Many of the people listening desired what he offered for it appealed to their flesh.

The Lord gave me this scripture to accompany this.

Eze 34:1 And the word of the Lord came to me, saying,

Eze 34:2 "Son of man, prophesy against the shepherds of Israel, prophesy and say to them, 'Thus says the Lord God to the shepherds: "Woe to the shepherds of Israel who feed themselves! Should not the shepherds feed the flocks?

Eze 34:3 "You eat the fat and clothe yourselves with the wool; you slaughter the fatlings, but you do not feed the flock.

Eze 34:4 "The weak you have not strengthened, nor have you healed those who were sick, nor bound up the broken, nor brought back what was driven away, nor sought what was lost; but with force and cruelty you have ruled them.

Eze 34:5 "So they were scattered because there was no shepherd; and they became food for all the beasts of the field when they were scattered.

Eze 34:6 "My sheep wandered through all the mountains, and on every high hill; yes, My flock was scattered over the whole face of the earth, and no one was seeking or searching for them."

Eze 34:7 'Therefore, you shepherds, hear the word of the Lord:

Eze 34:8 "as I live," says the Lord God, "surely because My flock became a prey, and My flock became food for every beast of the field, because there was no shepherd, nor did My shepherds search for My flock, but the shepherds fed themselves and did not feed My flock"

Eze 34:9 therefore, O shepherds, hear the word of the Lord!

Eze 34:10 'Thus says the Lord God: "Behold, I am against the shepherds, and I will require My flock at their hand; I will cause them to cease feeding the sheep, and the shepherds shall feed themselves no more; for I will deliver My flock from their mouths, that they may no longer be food for them."

Eze 34:11 'For thus says the Lord God: "Indeed I Myself will search for My sheep and seek them out.

Eze 34:12 "As a shepherd seeks out his flock on the day he is among his scattered sheep, so will I seek out My sheep and deliver them from all the places where they were scattered on a cloudy and dark day.

Eze 34:13 "And I will bring them out from the peoples and gather them from the countries, and will bring them to their own land; I will feed them on the mountains of Israel, in the valleys and in all the inhabited places of the country.

HE gave me this interpretation.

"Many shepherds have let MY sheep go astray. They are falling off the board into sin and the darkness, where there is no light. Remnant: Bring back the sheep that will come. Know that I AM separating the wheat from the tares. It has begun. Have I not said be prepared? Do not look with natural eyes. PERSECUTION IS COMING TO AMERICA!

STOCK MARKET MELTDOWN (Dreams from 2008 about a bear)

Found these dreams from 2008 quite interesting after yesterdays Stock market meltdown. Aug 8th-2011




August 27, 2008
Dreamt I was being chased by a grizzly bear. The bear was getting bigger as time went on. At one point it became huge as if blown up like a balloon. Eventually I pushed a door closed behind me and locked myself in some room. I knew it would only last a second or two before he got me.

Jan 15 2008
Dreamed I was at some friends and a huge grizzly bear came out from behind the bushes. It started attacking us and we started to run in every direction. A neighbor came out from his house with a spear and started to stab it. The bear fell backwards dead. We then went on with our barbecue, and sat down on the picnic table. Suddenly the dead bear came back to life and started killing us. I ran inside a garden shed and the bear started to attack me. I knew I was a goner. ..Happens in the summer (BBQ)


Interpretation:(right after having the dream in 2008)
The bear is the stock market and will crash. The government will step in to stop it and it will appear as if they stopped it. Suddenly it will crash again and it won’t be stopped.
Joe Ouellette

A visit to the THRONE ROOM. From my book "His Grace"

    

 I was ministering in a small church giving words of encouragement and whatever prophecies God had for them. I needed a word more than all of them combined and then some. I had been in a desert for a long time and was walking by faith. I went back to my room afterwards but could not get to sleep. I knew when it was about 1:00am, that I was going to be a wreck the next day. I could not stop crying out to Daddy. I did not know what I wanted but I knew I had to have something to help me make it through the next day. I was in a bad depression. The worse I had ever known. I was being faithful and ministering and was even praising him in my terrible circumstances. I don’t know when I finally fell asleep but suddenly I found myself in the Judgment room. 

      Jesus was standing in front of his throne looking away from me and to his right. His face seemed stern. Many people were in the thrones but I didn’t venture to look at them. The room was dark and foreboding. I stood in silence with my head hung down and great fear in my heart. I knew I was standing in the judgment room, but this time I was on the wrong side. 

I was on the side of judgment! I looked down at myself and I felt ashamed. My pants were torn and dirty. I had no shoes and my feet were black with dirt. I looked up at Jesus and then scanned the darkened room. Jesus still had not spoken, which made me nervous. I heard a rustling sound behind me so I turned and looked. Behind me was a wall of huge winged angels, which intimidated me even more. I was exactly in the center of them all! I began to weep. 

      Jesus lifted his arm, pointed to me, and spoke “This is who I esteem greatly! He who has left brothers, sisters, and family for my sake and has not followed after the things of this world. This is whom I truly honor!” With that, I hit the floor with great sobbing and with a total release of my depression. All the scenes of my months of decisions flowed through my mind and I realized that I lost everything in my life simply because I decided to follow after him.

VISION OF THE JUDGEMENT SEAT OF CHRIST

The room was so vast I could not see the end. Thrones like bleachers at a stadium lined one side. Various people filled the thrones as far as the eye could see. I was in heaven, in the Judgment room. 

      I was so excited that I had made it and that I was sitting in one of the thrones. I was making a real fuss thinking I was so special and how wonderful I was. I noticed about two rows in front of me and slightly to the right was the back of Jesus sitting on his throne. He had longish hair and looked just like his picture. He slowly turned around to look at me. His stern eyes pierced my heart. I wanted to sink into my seat but I had no place to go. Several others close to him also turned around and looked at me. They all heard my thoughts. I just wanted to die. I felt such shame. I didn’t deserve to be here, I thought. I felt ashamed that I thought that somehow I qualified myself to be here. Jesus turned back and faced the front. 

      A beautiful young blond haired woman stood at a lectern across from Jesus on the lower floor. She never lifted her head but stared only at the floor. Behind her was a line of people that seemingly went on forever. Everyone’s countenance was one of dread. No one in that line lifted his or her heads. 

      I could hear the woman’s thoughts. She thought she could enjoy all the things of the world and do whatever she pleased and that she would be saved. She thought in fact that she could live with her feet in both kingdoms at the same time, Gods, and the worlds. I heard her say to the Lord, “Why didn’t someone warn me!” 

      I awoke at that point and felt terrible. I was sick to my stomach. I felt so convicted. Everything in me wanted to warn every Christian I could find. I wanted to be away from all the worlds glitter and false glory. I didn’t want to be swayed and follow the world Rich’s but God alone.

      These people were clearly those who followed the false prosperity gospel. I knew many people, even in the church that I went to, that worshipped the things of the world but hardly knew God.

DONT STOP PRAYING!!

I had met someone at Church who was in a crisis and had asked me to pray. I loved to pray for other people. It was a great way of receiving a blessing. I decided to fast for three days and pray for this person’s situation.

On the third day, I was standing in heaven and found myself face-to-face with Myriads of angels. I knew instantly that each row was a myriad wide and that it was one myriad deep. The angels stood in a line in front of me in perfect rows from left to right. They all looked similar like brothers but with slight differences. They were about 9ft tall and had large wings. Their hair was long and white. The golden yellow glory was so bright I could barely see.

Suddenly two angels entered, carrying the person I was praying for back on earth. On her back was one scared demon. It had its claws imbedded deep into her. I heard the Lord behind me and to my left, say “Pray”! So, I did. I said with great authority. “I command you Satan to come off her in the name of Jesus!” Nothing happened! It embarrassed me. It was deathly quiet. I am powerless even in heaven even with the Lord standing next to me, I thought! So, again I asked the Lord. He spoke again but this time with anger, “PRAY”! It thought it might be the way I phrased it. I rearranged the words a little and shouted. “In the name of Jesus I command you to come off”! Still nothing happened!

I was looking for a place to hide. It was deathly quiet. Has the Lord has brought me here to humiliate me? I turned to the Lord again and weakly said, Lord? He shouted at me with more anger in his voice. “PRAY”!!!. Reluctantly and sheepishly, I prayed again. I said “In the name of Jesus come off her”. As fast as a flash, two huge angels jumped forward, took that demon off her back and all the angels in heaven lifted their hands straight up and cheered. Right behind me, I heard the Lord laugh!

I awoke at this point and realized that I needed to learn to keep praying and not give up. Later when I met that woman, she was changed.

PROPHECY Wednesday, August 3, 2011

PROPHECY Wednesday, August 3, 2011

In prayer today the Lord was very prominent.  He spoke very loudly and with boldness I haven’t heard in a long time. This is what he said

“I am shaking this land and no amount of prayer will stop my hand. For the cries of the unborn have reached the heavenlies. I will not relent till their cries have stopped. There will be a great falling away for those whose hearts are in the world but I will answer immediately to those who cry out to me and I will comfort them in very arms says the Lord. Like a baby at her mothers breast I will restore and bring back those that are mine.”

The other day I had a dream again about the stock market sliding down a slippery road.

INVITING THE PROPHETIC INTO YOUR CHURCH "THE BABY" from my book "The Prophetic Manual"

Inviting the prophetic into your church is like deciding to have a baby.  When you first decide you want to have a baby your decision is based on your fairytale dream of pushing this baby in a stroller, blowing bubbles on the baby's stomach while the baby giggles his or her head off.

In reality, it's more like trying to push out a watermelon and screaming bloody blue murder for 24 hours, dealing with about 400 dirty diapers a day and sleepless nights for months.

I can't emphasize enough how much this is just like the prophetic.  Everyone thinks this is awesome, we can hear the voice of God and He can tell us what's on his heart. He can undo years of not knowing and wondering what's going on in our lives, and brings some order to us.

In reality, what happens is far different in the beginning.  People are like babies and they make mistakes.  Wrong interpretations will be given, people will act out of order, and there will appear to be a great lack of order.  Feelings will get hurt, people might leave the church and new ones will show up. If you’re a person that likes perfect order, you will go through an adjustment time.  In biblical times the focus was surely not on the prophetic, people were dying for their beliefs.  Hiding in homes, running for your lives was the order of the day.  No one cared if your interpretation was a little bit off. They were just trying to survive. Look how many people sat with their bags packed, thinking Jesus was returning any day now. How silly was that?

I can't imagine what it's like to know the next day I could get eaten by a lion at other people's amusement just because I would not recant my beliefs.

Inviting the prophetic into your church is no different from inviting Jesus into your church.  Yes it will become messy but if you want order I recommend getting a job down at the cemetery.  I have seen churches embrace the prophetic and about a year later push it back out the door.  They were not willing to deal with the dirty diapers and the sleepless nights.  They gave their babies up for adoption. 

Learning, growing, making mistakes is a necessary part of Christianity.  We don't keep our children in a crib till they can run.  We let them go through the necessary learning curve to stand up and then walk.  They fall down, bump into tables, cry and hurt themselves.  This is a normal way of life and we just accept it. I once heard a pastor say that I think Christians should be locked up for the first two years.  It shocked me when I heard it.  It was obvious in the Bible that most of the people that embraced Christianity did their greatest works as babes.

One of the best ways that we learn is from our mistakes.  It's great when we can learn from other people's mistakes.  But that doesn't always happen.  I myself had joked several times that I could write a book just on my mistakes.

If the church is not ready to embrace the mess then there will be a greater mess.  Knowing the outcome and watching for it will ease the struggle.  Not allowing the prophetic into a church is like purposely preventing healing and restoration to God's people.  It's a wonderful sight to see a simple prophetic word given to a person completely restoring them.  It's the reason I continued in the prophetic.  I loved watching people be restored and continuing in their walk with God.  There are many brokenhearted people and most of them seem to be in the church.  How could anyone stop the healing just because it's messy?  Christianity itself is messy.

I was speaking in a small church on the prophetic and afterwards I was praying for the pastor who was lying on the floor at the time.  In addition, I could clearly see a building that they were praying for and I saw flames coming out of the roof.  I immediately assumed and so did he, this of course was the fire of God.  They then continued wholeheartedly to try to obtain the building and consequently declared it as the future church building.  One day we even marched around the property and claimed it for our own.  Time went on and it seemed like they had hit a brick wall in trying to get this property.  Of course it was a financial problem.

One day I was driving up the road to where the future church was going to be and the road was closed.  It was blocked by fire trucks.  They were busy trying to put out the building.  Giant flames licked the sky just like in my vision.

How could I have gotten it so wrong, or did I?  This whole situation got messy.  Diapers were overflowing everywhere including my own.  There were many hurt feelings, misunderstandings and just the general loss of the prophetic appetite.  Nobody wanted to hear another prophetic word.  We had enough.

I'm not even sure how we could have prevented this.  The vision I had was exactly right.  But our interpretation was clearly wrong.  We just wanted the fire of God to fall so that's what we interpreted it as.

When you're operating at an impression level the word has to be tested.  I don't think any of us tested it.  We heard what we wanted to hear.  Of course it's easy to see that now, but at the time...

Unfortunately, I have many of these stories.  I didn't give up though.  I got run out of a couple of towns and churches but I never gave up.