Friday, October 14, 2011

MY QUEST TO SAVE THE WORLD by EJ Ouellette

In my quest to save the world I have determined that there are basically three types of people.

     
   1. Those that are nuts!
   2. Those that are completely nuts!
   3. (People like me) Those that are highly allergic to nuts!

Now the third category is the best to be in I think but it’s definitely a lonely place to be. The closer I became to God the more allergic I became. The more allergic I became the more likely I would isolate myself from all the nuts. The social dysfunction in the church today is off the normal charts. Narcissistic personalities dominate the congregations and the leadership. Oh yah, and if you dare mention it, you might well have opened a barrel of angry vipers on a Women’s Aglow meeting in Beverly Hills.

I met a man recently who for lack of a better term was completely nuts. He said he felt called to being a pastor. He never let me speak once and he rattled on about absolutely nothing for hours. Well that cinched the deal for me he was obviously ready for the ministry. I mean after all he was in love with himself and seemed to be power crazy what else was needed. Maybe he needed just a push from me! (off a cliff). His inability to hear anything I was saying certainly qualified him, after all, ministry today wasn’t about serving, it was about getting people to worship you and milking the sheep down to their last dime. He never did shut up! I think sometimes late at night I still hear him talking endlessly, forgetting simple punctuation rules like commas and periods. I think he might qualify for the Guinness book of records for the longest run on sentence in all of history. I think my ears are bleeding. (still) :(