I was ministering in a small church giving words of encouragement and whatever prophecies God had for them. I needed a word more than all of them combined and then some. I had been in a desert for a long time and was walking by faith. I went back to my room afterwards but could not get to sleep. I knew when it was about 1:00am, that I was going to be a wreck the next day. I could not stop crying out to Daddy. I did not know what I wanted but I knew I had to have something to help me make it through the next day. I was in a bad depression. The worse I had ever known. I was being faithful and ministering and was even praising him in my terrible circumstances. I don’t know when I finally fell asleep but suddenly I found myself in the Judgment room.
Jesus was standing in front of his throne looking away from me and to his right. His face seemed stern. Many people were in the thrones but I didn’t venture to look at them. The room was dark and foreboding. I stood in silence with my head hung down and great fear in my heart. I knew I was standing in the judgment room, but this time I was on the wrong side.
I was on the side of judgment! I looked down at myself and I felt ashamed. My pants were torn and dirty. I had no shoes and my feet were black with dirt. I looked up at Jesus and then scanned the darkened room. Jesus still had not spoken, which made me nervous. I heard a rustling sound behind me so I turned and looked. Behind me was a wall of huge winged angels, which intimidated me even more. I was exactly in the center of them all! I began to weep.
Jesus lifted his arm, pointed to me, and spoke “This is who I esteem greatly! He who has left brothers, sisters, and family for my sake and has not followed after the things of this world. This is whom I truly honor!” With that, I hit the floor with great sobbing and with a total release of my depression. All the scenes of my months of decisions flowed through my mind and I realized that I lost everything in my life simply because I decided to follow after him.
