Sunday, March 24, 2013

The effects of praise: What scientific studies reveal about the right way to praise kids


The effects of praise:
What scientific studies reveal about the right way to praise kids
© 2008 Gwen Dewar, Ph.D., all rights reserved

Funny thing about praise.
In many cultures—-like China-—praise is rare. People worry about the effects of praise. That too much praise will inflate the ego...make people too big for their britches.
This seems to be an ancient concern.
Modern-day hunter-gatherers—-people whose life-ways most closely resemble those of our ancestors—-are famously intolerant of big egos.
It used to be that way in the West, too. But today things are different. Westerners praise each other all the time. And Western parents praise their kids all the time.
Why? Because we think that praise is going to make our kids better—more motivated, more confident, more inclined to tackle challenges.
But does it really work that way?
Well, yes. Praise can be a powerful form of encouragement. For instance, moms who praise their preschoolers for their good manners have kids with better social skills (Garner 2006; Hastings et al 2007).
But in some cases, praise can actually undermine your child’s motivation.

What’s the right way to praise kids?
Good answers come from Jennifer Henderlong Corpus and Mark Lepper, psychologists who have analyzed over 30 years of studies on the effects of praise (Henderlong and Lepper 2002). They determined that praise can be a powerful motivating force if you follow these guidelines:
• Be sincere and specific with your praise
• Praise kids only for traits they have the power to change
• Use descriptive praise that conveys realistic, attainable standards
• Be careful about praising kids for achievements that come easily
• Be careful about praising kids for doing what they already love to do
• Encourage kids to focus on mastering skills—not on comparing themselves to others
In addition, it’s important to be sensitive to your child’s developmental level.
I explain these guidelines—and the evidence supporting them—in more detail below.

Be sensitive to your child’s developmental level
Very young children thrive on praise
Babies and toddlers benefit from praise that encourages them to explore on their own. In a study of 24-month old children, researchers watched how mothers responded to their toddlers while they attempted a challenging task.
Then, these same families were invited back to the lab a year later and kids were tested again.
Researchers found that the 36-month old kids who were most likely to tackle challenges—and to persist at a task—were the ones whose mothers had praised and encouraged their independence at 24 months (Kelley et al 2000).
Older kids are more sophisticated and may interpret your praise in negative ways
Whereas very young children are likely to take your praise at face value, older kids are a different story. As kids mature, they become aware of your own possible motives for praising them. If they perceive you to be insincere, they may dismiss your praise. They may also be sensitive to being patronized or manipulated (see below).
Be sincere and specific
Insincere praise may harm self-esteem and damage relationships
Obviously, kids won’t feel very encouraged by praise if you seem insincere.
But insincere praise isn’t just ineffective. It can be damaging.
Kids might think you feel sorry for them or that you are trying to be manipulative. Insincere praise might also send the message that you don’t really understand your child (Henderlong and Lepper 2002).
Do these problems arise for very young children? Probably not. But once your child becomes mature enough to question your motives, she may become sensitive to the effects of insincere praise.
To prevent the appearance of insincerity, avoid frequent, effusive praise. And avoid praise that is sweeping or general. Kids are more likely to doubt it.
Praise kids for traits they have the power to change
It might seem that praising your child’s intelligence or talent would boost his self-esteem and motivate him.
But it turns out that this sort of praise backfires.
Carol Dweck and her colleagues have demonstrated the effect in a series of experimental studies: When we praise kids for their ability, kids become more cautious. They avoid challenges.
It’s as if they are afraid to do anything that might make them fail and lose your high appraisal.
Kids might also get the message that intelligence or talent is something that people either have or don’t have. This leaves kids feeling helpless when they make mistakes. What’s the point of trying to improve if your mistakes indicate that you lack intelligence?
For these reasons, it’s better to avoid praising kids for ability. Instead, praise them for things that they can clearly change—like their level of effort or the strategies they use. For more information on the effects of praise on intellectual performance, click here.
Use descriptive praise that conveys realistic, attainable standards
Some praise is merely about making a judgment “Good job!” Other praise provides information about what the recipient did right: “I like the way you begin your essay by describing the problem and explaining why it’s important.”
The latter is called descriptive praise, and it is thought to be more helpful than general praise. When you give a child descriptive praise, you don’t just tell him he’s doing well. You give him specific feedback, and you tell him something about your standards.
But there is an important caveat, argue Jennifer Henderlong Corpus and Mark Lepper (2002). The standards you convey should be reasonable. If you over-praise a child (e.g. “You’re amazing! I’ve never heard anyone play the piano better!”), you may send the wrong message. Your child might conclude that your standards are superhuman. How can he possibly live up to that? Praise that conveys unrealistically high standards can become a source of pressure, and make kids feel inadequate.
Beware of praising kids for achievements that come easily
If you praise kids for easy tasks, kids may conclude there is something wrong: Either you’re too dumb to realize how easy the task is, or you think the kids are dumb (Meyer 1992).
Such interpretations are unlikely to occur to younger children. But as kids mature, they become more sophisticated about the social meaning of praise.
One experiment presented American kids (aged 4 to 12 years) with a videotaped scenario depicting students at work. The scenario showed two students solving a problem. Each performed equally well, but only one student was praised.
The kids who watched the program were asked to judge the students’ effort and ability.
Kids of all ages agreed that the praised student tried harder. But the older kids also inferred that the praised student had lower ability (Barker and Graham 1987).
These reactions might be culturally specific, however. When a similar experiment was conducted on Chinese students, older subjects did not conclude that the praised person was inferior in ability (Salili and Hau 1994).
The difference might reflect Chinese attitudes about praise and intelligence.
In China, praise is rarely given (Salili and Hau 1994). As a result, people may be less likely to infer that praise is insincere or patronizing. In addition, Chinese people are more inclined to view intellectual achievements as a product of effort (Salili and Hau 1994; Stevenson and Lee 1990).
Beware of over-praising kids for doing things they like anyway
It’s okay to praise kids for doing what they like to do. But be careful not to go overboard—particularly with older kids. When you praise kids every time they do something they enjoy, it might actually reduce their motivation (Henderlong and Lepper 2002).
For example, suppose that Adam loves to eat broccoli. But every time he eats broccoli, his mom praises him for it. Consciously or unconsciously, Adam starts to question his motivation. Is he eating broccoli only for the praise? Adam changes his attitude toward broccoli-eating. It’s a chore, not a pleasure. If the praise ends, Adam loses interest in eating broccoli.
Does this sort of thing really happen? It’s been well-documented in cases where people are given tangible rewards each time they perform a particular behavior (e.g., giving your child some money each time he eats broccoli). The feedback appears to re-set a person’s attitude (Lepper and Henderlong 2000).
There’s less research showing that social rewards—like praise—can produce the same effect. However, a recent brain study reveals that social rewards (like praise) and tangible rewards (like money) activate the same regions of the brain (Izuma et al 2008). And a food-tasting experiment performed on children found that praise, like tangible rewards, made kids like a food less (Birch et al 1984).
But the key point seems to be that praise must be given every time, so that kids expect to be praised for the behavior .
When praise is unexpected or spontaneous, it remains a powerful motivating force.
So this doesn’t mean we can’t—or shouldn’t—praise our children for good behavior or a job well done. But suggests we should be cautious about overriding our kids’ natural sources of motivation.
Avoid praise that compares your child to others
At first blush, it might seem like a good idea to praise kids for out-performing their peers. After all, research has shown that such social-comparison praise enhances a child’s motivation and enjoyment of a task (see review in Henderlong and Lepper 2002).
But there are at least two big problems with social-comparison praise.
Problem One: Social-comparison praise is only motivating as long as kids continue to finish first.
If their competitive edge slips, kids are likely to lose motivation.
In essence, kids who are accustomed to social-comparison praise become poor losers.
Consider this experiment on American 4th and 5th graders (Corpus et al 2006). Kids were given a set of puzzles to complete and received either
• social-comparison praise
• mastery praise (i.e., comments about how the child had mastered the task)
OR
• no praise at all
Next, kids completed a second task. This time they were left without clear feedback about how they’d done.
How did this uncertainty affect each child’s motivation?
It depended on what kind of praise kids had received earlier. Those who had received social comparison praise suffered a loss of motivation. But kids who had received mastery praise showed enhanced motivation.
In other words, a history of social-comparison praise backfires the minute kids stop hearing that they’ve outperformed their peers.
Problem Two: Social-comparison praise teaches kids that competitive standing, not mastery, is the goal.
When kids decide that the goal is to outperform other kids, they lack intrinsic motivation for a task. Work is only interesting insofar as it permits them to show that they are the best.
Even worse, these kids are so wrapped up in maintaining their competitive standing that they avoid challenges and opportunities to learn. Why tackle something new and risk failure? Social-comparison praise doesn’t prepare kids for coping with failure. Instead of trying to learn from their mistakes, these kids respond by feeling helpless (Elliot and Dweck 1988).

Tuesday, March 12, 2013

DREAM FROM MAY 27/2003 Proverbs 13:22 New Revised Standard Version (NRSV) 22 The good leave an inheritance to their children’s children, but the sinner’s wealth is laid up for the righteous.

Proverbs 13:22 New Revised Standard Version (NRSV) 22 The good leave an inheritance to their children’s children, but the sinner’s wealth is laid up for the righteous.

I BELIVE THIS DREAM IS ABOUT THE CHURCH.

May 27, 2003
On Sunday the Lord spoke to me about some revelation he was bringing me. All day Monday I cried out to him but he was silent. Last night I had the strangest dream.
I dreamt it was today as in 2003. God was molding me and shaping me. I looked like King David while still on the run. I saw everywhere the sad state of the church and I felt there was no hope since the want of material things had choked out true Christianity. The church had been seized by Satan. I was on the run for my life because I was trying to expose it and I went to this certain place (that I cant name). As I arrived hiding from the false church I saw that the Government had taken control of this place but it really belonged to God. It had a beautiful lake with sandy beach’s. I then saw myself years in the future at this place. It seemed to be after a great shaking and a war. I now owned this place and all the surrounding land. It amounted to thousands of acres not far from Toronto. I was a Trillionair and had most of the Rich’s of the world and was the richest man in the world. I had more money than King Solomon. I used the money to feed the world, opened up orphanages and did all the things the church was supposed to do but submitted to Satan instead. I made I giant complex on the property that was like a castle and opened it up to the children who lived with me as well. The only adults that were there were those that had truly overcome the world and had the fathers love in the heart. It reminded me of a new Jerusalem but was smaller. It was full of the love of the Father.
I had a giant mansion inside and it had hundreds of bedrooms and was filled with children. I heard a pounding at the gate and went to see who it was. There was a giant wall around thee whole perimeter of the complex. The were thousands of people pounding on the gate and I even recognized some of them. They were screaming let us in. I said ‘You cannot come in this place unless you have the Fathers love. No one is allowed near the children unless they have his love’

Joe Ouellette

Saturday, February 23, 2013

TORNADO DREAMS

Dreamt that a huge tornado was coming. We went outside to check it out and saw it was very near. It was huge and their were storm clouds all around it. We ran into the basement to hide in a corner. The whole house shook as it went by but we survived fine. I felt relieved then went back outside to check it out. In the distance we saw 2 more tornados approaching. We ran back inside to hide from those as well. I awoke when we were huddled in the basement again.

Friday, February 22, 2013

WARNING SIGNS OF OCD


I can't believe how many people i've come across in the last year with serious unchecked OCD (Obsessive compulsive disorder). I know in the church it's taboo to get help but maybe this will wake you up to yourself or those around you.

Warning Signs of OCD

• Do you wish you had an “off” button so you could stop thinking about the same thing over and over?
• Do you feel the need to repeat a ritual that would be embarrassing if others knew what you were doing?
• Are you so competitive that if you are not the winner or the absolute best you feel deeply upset?
• Do you need to control everything and everyone?
• Do you worry about your sexuality, your performance or your orientation?
• Do you wash your hands repeatedly? Do you take several showers a day? Are you a neat freak? Does mess, disorder or dirt bother you a lot?
• Do you unplug your appliances when you go to bed at night or when you go away for a few days?
• Do you bite your nails, pick scabs or pimples, pull skin, pull out hairs, or mutilate your body in some other way?
• Do you hoard items, especially things that are not really needed, or in amounts that are excessive?

If you answered yes to these questions you may have obsessive-compulsive disorder.
Interventions and treatments for obsessive-compulsive symptoms can bring you relief and a new lease on life.

Treatment Options for OCD
There are several kinds of treatment for OCD. Psychotherapy, behavior therapy, and medicines are available for people who have obsessive-compulsive disorder.
Most research and psychiatrists recommend Cognitive Behavior Therapy (CBT) as the therapy of choice for this condition. CBT is not concerned with the reasons that someone is OCD instead they focus on extinguishing the symptoms and changing the negative self-statements that often occur. CBT is most successful when the patient practices the techniques that are taught by a qualified therapist. CBT is often used with children who have OCD.
Some people want to understand the underlying sources of anxiety that contribute to their obsessive thinking, rather than focusing only on symptoms. Talking therapies, such as interpersonal psychotherapy or psychoanalysis are recommended for patients who are willing to use insight, reflection and analysis to explore their issues.
Medicine may be necessary and is prescribed by a psychiatrist or internist to alleviate symptoms of OCD. SSRI’s such as Prozac are often used because they reduce anxiety which helps change obsessive thinking and compulsive actions. Other kinds of prescription medications are also available.
Alternative remedies, such as teas or valerian root can help.Acupuncture, relaxation and yoga, may reduce anxiety, which in turn, allows an individual to manage their obsessive-compulsive symptoms.

Monday, February 11, 2013

POPE QUITS!

Pope Benedict, leader of the world's 1.2 billion Catholics, said on Monday he will resign on Feb 28. because he no longer has the strength to fulfill the duties of his office, becoming the first pontiff since the Middle Ages to take such a step.

Pope  Benedict's resignation will mark the fulfillment of the Prophecy of the Popes with a possible appointment of  the 112th Pope Peter the Roman the last and final Pope before the return of Jesus Christ.

The 112th Pope Peter the Roman will confirm Archbishop Saint Malachy's prediction in 1132 a.d. that there would only be 112 popes in world history and  Pope Benedict was the 111th.
Peter the Roman the 112th Pope will feed the sheep during the ultimate persecution of the church during the Tribulation and the return of Jesus Christ.

The average Pope serves a 20 year Papacy at the age of 65 and dies around the age of 85. This means that based on however age the next Popes is we Have around 20 yeas left until the coming of the Lord and the ultimate Tribulation and Persecution of the Church around 2025.



The Exact Text reads

"In the extreme persecution of the Holy Roman Church, there will sit [i.e., as bishop]. Peter the Roman, who will pasture his sheep in many tribulations: and when these things are finished, the city of seven hills will be destroyed, and the terrible judge will judge his people. The End."
  • Extreme persecution is coming to the Church 
  • The last Pope will Be Peter the Roman 
  • He will Be the last Pope during the 7 year Tribulation
  • After the Tribulation is over the city of 7 hills will be destroyed.
  • The city of 7 hills represents a great city ruling over 7 territories
  • Jesus will return for and judge his people after the 7 year tribulation

Thursday, January 10, 2013

PROPHETIC ACTIVATION IN SOUTH BOSTON VIRGINIA JAN 26TH 2013 BY EJ OUELLETTE

I will will be having a prophetic time at the HOLIDAY INN in South Boston Virginia Jan 26th 2013 at 7pm. Some of my books will be available for sale. This is an open meeting and seating is limited to 35 people. A freewill offering will be taken. Free Coffee.
Rooms are also available at at a 10% discount.
Hosted by Fielding and Carla Cage.


View Larger Map

Saturday, December 29, 2012

THE STAR OF DAVID IS PAGAN


The “Star of David” is Pagan

What is the origin of the “Star of David”? Was it really the ancient symbol on David’s shield? Did it originate with king Solomon?  What is the meaning of two interlaced triangles, one pointed upward and one pointed down? Where did this ancient symbol REALLY originate? Why does this symbol figure so prominently in the modern nation of Israel, today? You may be totally shocked at the explosive, provocative answers to these questions! 

by William F. Dankenbring
A Jewish Orthodox internet website tells us:  “The Magen David (shield of David, or as it is more commonly known, the Star of David) is the symbol most commonly associated with Judaism today, but it isactually a relatively new Jewish symbol. It is supposed to represent the shape of King David’s shield (or perhaps the emblem on it), but there is really no support for that claim in any early rabbinic literature. In fact, the symbol is so rare in early Jewish literature and artwork that art dealers suspect forgery if they find the symbol in early works.
“Scholars such as Franz Rosenzweig have attributed deep theological significance to the symbol. For example, some note that the top triangle strives upward, toward G-d, while the lower triangle strives downward, toward the real world. Some note that the intertwining makes the triangles inseparable, like the Jewish people.  Some say that the three sides represent the three types of Jews: Kohanin, Levites and Israel. Some note that there are actually 12 sides (3 exterior and 3 interior on each triangle), representing the 12 tribes. While these theories are theologically interesting, they have little basis in historical fact.”
The site continues:  “The symbol of intertwined equilateral triangles is a common one in the Middle East and North Africa, and is thought to bring good luck. It appears occasionally in early Jewish artwork, but never as an exclusively Jewish symbol. The nearest thing to an ‘official’ Jewish symbol at the time was the seven-branched “menorah.”
In the 17th century, it became a popular practice to put Magen Davids on the outside of Jewish synagogues to identify them as Jewish houses of worship in much the same way that a cross identified a Christian house of worship.
The so-called “Star of David” gained popularity as a symbol of Judaism when it was adopted as the emblem of the Zionist movement in 1897, but the symbol continued to be very controversial for many years. When the modern state of Israel was founded in 1948, there was much debate over whether this symbol should be used on the flag.
Today, of course, the “Star of David” is a universally recognized symbol of Jewry. It appears on the flag of the state of Israel.  Its real origins, however, are not so pure.